Show Writer Portfolio
Over the course of several years, Markus Kublin has been hired and consulted for his writing expertise in live shows, attractions, and more, particularly where comedy is sought. He has written concepts, outlines, treatments and scripts and directed sketches, shows, show elements, and attractions for some of the world's great theme parks, entertainment companies, museums, and more. Here is a small sampling of that work. A PDF copy and other samples are available to industry professionals upon request.
YATURU – JERUSALEM AUGMENTED REALITY TOUR
“JOSEPH” SCRIPT EXCERPT
What has happened was meant to be. The Creator sent me here to spare lives, and I have saved countless, including yours and your children. This was His will. But I must see our father. Go back and tell him I am here, and to come. I will give you land, I want to provide for you. I want us to be together. And Benjamin... You... You're so grown up -
SOUND: Joseph chokes on his words.
The brothers spoke all night, of their wives, their children, their father and the extraordinary ways of the Creator.
SOUND: The voices of the brothers fade as they catch up.
MUSIC: A warm Canaanite theme.
The brothers returned to Jacob's camp and shared the news with their wives.
Yehuda, I can't believe it.
Tamar, I hardly believe it myself, and I was there. I must run and tell Father.
Wait, husband. Jacob must be told in a way that will not shock his aging heart.
Perhaps you are right. What shall we do?
Send Serach, the daughter of your brother Asher.
Serach? She's just a child.
I know. That's the point, husband.
MUSIC: A simple harp melody, in the style of a child's nursery rhyme.
Serach walked into Jacob's tent and began singing to him - the only thing that cheered him during the dark years since he believed Joseph had been lost forever.
What brings you to me, Serach, my dear? You have a new song for me?
Then sing, little one, sing.
MUSIC: Brightens, slightly louder.
Not a fable, not today, only words so wise.
Joy returns to you today, and visions to your eyes.
For in a land so far away, something very near.
A son to you no longer lost, alive and true and dear.
Joseph lives, a king in Egypt, master of Mitzrayim.
He has two sons, my righteous cousins, Manasheh and Ephraim.
My child, what - what are you saying?
By now, the entire family had gathered at the entrance to the tent.
It's true, Father. Let us tell you all that happened in Egypt.
Serach, you have given me the blessing of my life! May your life forever be even more blessed!
Jacob was overjoyed, and immediately prepared to move the tribe down to Egypt. As they entered Egypt, Joseph came out to Goshen to meet them.
YATURU – JERUSALEM AUGMENTED REALITY TOUR
“MOSES” SCRIPT EXCERPT
SOUND: The shepherd whistles, and moves off with his herd and dogs.
SOUND: Moses, out of breath, climbing the mountain with his sheep. The wind howls, a bird of prey circles above. An eerie atmosphere, and the sound of something crackling and burning. A faint, warm sound of soft horns.
High up in the mountains, Moses entered a cave illuminated by a glowing light.
SOUND: Moses enters a cave - a sudden lack of wind and the echoing of his footsteps. The sounds of fire is louder.
MUSIC: The low sounds of Tibetan crystal bowls. A mystical theme, a combination of the Eden sounds and something else: an ethereal burning sound.
Before him stood a thorn-bush aflame, yet not burning. Moses watched the flames in a trance and entered a deep meditation.
SOUND: We hear the voices of the forefathers intermingled with Moses' own voice with reverb.
Moses, Moses... Remove the shoes from your feet. The place upon which you stand is holy ground.
SOUND: Moses kicks off his sandals and throws them to the side.
I am the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I have heard the cries of my people, have seen their suffering. I will free them from bondage and lead them to the land of their ancestors. Go to Pharaoh. Take my children out of Egypt.
You ask the impossible... who am I that I should go to Pharaoh? He will reject me. Even as a member of the royal family I couldn't help them.
Your true family needs you now, Moses. And your true crown is your humility. You will go and say to the Levites: ‘The God of your forefathers has appeared to me with these words: I have surely remembered you, and will deliver you to the land I have promised.'
I am not a man of words... speech comes slowly to me. There must be someone else.
You have a brother, Aaron, the leader of the Levites who waits to receive you. Through your brother will the message be spoken, but through you will I deliver my people. The destruction of Egypt will herald a new era for mankind. The Tribe of Abraham will become a nation, and you will lead them through the wilderness and bring them to a good and spacious land, overflowing with milk and honey.
Who shall I say sends me?
The God of your fathers. He Who Was, Who Is, and Who Shall Ever Be.
Now take the staff in your hands. Through you the Creator will reveal great wonders and smite Egypt, all its temples and all its palaces.
(fading to a whisper)
I am with you, Moses. I will be with you...
SOUND: The mystical sounds fade out, leaving Moses to catch his breath in the empty cave. The wind seems to howl in perfect synch with Moses’ breathing and heartbeat.
SOUND: Moses running into Jethro's tent.
K-CULTURE VILLAGE “ISLAND OF MYTHS,” (Interactive Elements Proposal)
THE HETTEMA GROUP
There are three interconnected, interactive attractions that provide a land-wide gamification layer to the Island of Myths. They are independent of one another, but share themes that add complementary storylines and experiences for guests to explore.
Adventure Tavern – This centralized spot is the Headquarters of two interactive game-attractions, GodStorm and the Zodiac Adventure Game. It is the prime point of connection between the storylines that run throughout the Island of Myths, and a meeting spot where guests may encounter mythical characters.
GodStorm (VR Attraction) – A high-tech, premium, multi-level virtual reality game experience that allows guests to enter never before seen mythical lands and interact with both the environment and other players. Players embark on one or more quests that extend the stories and themes found elsewhere in the land.
Zodiac Adventure Game – An all-ages, zone-wide game activity that features several different interactive technology options. Guests will become part of the Island’s story as they discover its many hidden secrets.
The front of this facility appears as a staggered two-level, naturalistic stone cavern. Pillars and archways seem to be formed from connected stalagmites and stalactites. As guests enter the first grotto, they see a ticket kiosk, magical looking interactive stations, and the not-quite hidden Tavern tucked into another cave at the back of the first.
This grotto functions as a gaming headquarters where guests can learn about and sign up for the interactive adventures that await them in the Island of Myths. It’s also a cool hang-out, and a whole lot more.
Separated by boulders and a wall of mountain stone, the Tavern itself is inspired by the gathering places of old where adventurers from all walks of life get together to share stories. It is filled with magical relics that have been collected from their travels, some of which may even come to life. It includes stations for guests to observe and interact with friends and family members playing in the exciting GodStorm VR attraction. At these stations, guests use magic mirrors, maps, crystal balls, and other “magical” screens to watch their VR player friends in real time, cheer them on, and even help them fulfill their quest.
Overlooking everything, the Jade Record is a real-time scoreboard and leaderboard that involves everyone in the outcome of each game and is a source of bragging rights for heroes who have successfully returned from their adventures.
You never know who might wander through here, including the Island’s mythical characters who might stop and pose for a picture with you at a dedicated Meet and Greet spot in a small adjacent cave opening off the main grotto. The Tavern also includes a themed snack bar and seating area where guests can purchase and enjoy refreshments, as well as a themed retail space. Above the Tavern, reachable by winding stone steps, is yet another cave, in which we catch glimpses of adventurers preparing to set off on some thrilling quest.
GodStorm (VR Attraction)
Five dedicated arena areas allow up to eight players each to participate in a cutting-edge virtual reality experience. Each arena features a different quest, and each quest may feature multiple levels of detail to discover, providing multiple opportunities for repeat play and exploration.
Inspired by Korean mythology and role-playing fantasy games, GodStorm is based on the idea that humans who perform extraordinary and heroic deeds can become gods. Through the course of multiple quests, players are challenged to try to become the best and most powerful god in the realm. Players begin by choosing a character that belongs to an Order associated with one of the four guardian/protector gods that serve the Jade Emperor:
· Blue Dragon
· White Tiger
· Red Bird/Phoenix
· Black Tortoise
A player’s choice of the Order their character serves provides access to specific skills, weapons, magic and other attributes that can provide unique advantages in their quests.
Each player undertakes missions that allow him to earn points, which are recorded in the Jade Emperor’s Jade Record, and ultimately advance in levels. Higher-level characters will gain access to more abilities and powers, but will also encounter more difficult challenges in each successive mission. The various quests take players to different settings where they must defeat monsters, find magical objects, and explore unknown territories based on Korean myths.
All quests are multiplayer adventures and may feature both cooperative and competitive game mechanics. The different quests are themed to different guardians and feature distinct styles of gameplay. For instance, a White Tiger quest may have a combat-oriented, competitive storyline, whereas a Blue Dragon quest may be more of an escape room/puzzle-solving experience.
Adding to the challenges and the fun, Dokkaebi appear intermittently in the game to add surprises that alter the game, or in some instances, to add comic relief.
This is an upcharge attraction that requires a separate paid admission ticket to enter the arena area and play the game. There will be no charge for observing from the Tavern area, although interacting with the game players by giving them treasures or magic items may require a specific microtransaction.
Guests purchase their admission to the GodStorm VR game experience from the ticketing kiosk near the Tavern. At their scheduled time, they proceed up the stone stairway to the arena level, where they check in to be outfitted in the equipment they will need to play. Every adventurer needs a signature role to play, so guests choose their identify, symbolized by traditional Korean masks. Picking a mask from a wall lined with all kinds of heroes, villains, and mythical creatures, guests are instructed in the mask’s amazing transformative power: wearing the mask, you become the character it represents and enter their world.
The masks are actually a high-tech VR head mounted display (HMD), and headphones, as well as a small backpack that contains the laptop with the game program and power supply, and other wearables that support real-time tracking and visualization effects, all themed so guests are completely immersed in their adventures.
As guests move through the experience the virtual world that they see through their HMD is mapped to physical environment of the arena. Prominent features such as walls, benches and even certain props will be physically tangible, and may be interactive. 4D effects such as heat, wind, and mist may be triggered by show control in coordination with the game engine to generate effects in response to player action and position. The overall effect will be to transport players into a fantasy world that looks, sounds, and even feels real.
The potential components of the technology platform that will be used to power GodStorm are changing at an incredibly fast pace. It is a certainty that the available technology at the time of design and installation will be more advanced than the available technology of today. That said, below are some reference devices and solutions for discussion.
VR HMD: HTC Vive and Oculus Rift are among the most advanced VR HMD products on the market. These products are optimized for gaming/entertainment applications and have been deployed in roomscale VR experiences.
Wearable CPU: Players must be able to move freely through the arena while wearing their HMD. The HMD must be physically connected to a CPU, but it is not operationally viable for players to be tethered to a stationary computer unit. Instead, players will wear a battery-powered laptop unit that has been optimized for VR. Below are some recently-announced products:
Positional Tracking: A number of tracking paradigms are currently being explored. There is currently no industry standard best practice for achieving this. For example, a tracking solution may consist of an optical-inertial system that includes high-precision cameras that capture position data and lightweight sensors that can be attached to player HMDs, peripherals, and props/locations in the environment.
Wearables & Peripherals: There is a lot of activity in the development of wearables and peripherals that can enhance a VR experience. Ultimately, the appropriate product selection will depend on the nature of the specific gameplay. Some examples:
· KOR-FX – haptic vest
· Manus: VR glove
As the project continues through design, details of story and specific gameplay will be further developed.
At the end of their adventure, guests return their game equipment outside the arena before proceeding downstairs to the Tavern. There, they will receive a hero’s welcome as they check their results on the Jade Record and celebrate achievements with friends and family. The Tavern’s amenities allow them to unwind with refreshments, sharing tales from their quest, and purchase souvenirs and power-ups.
Zodiac Adventure Game
The Zodiac Adventure Game is a zone-wide interactive, goal-oriented experience in which guests discover clues, decipher codes, solve riddles, and unlock mysteries throughout the Island of Myths.
Based on the stories and characters of the Korean Zodiac, the game leads guests to 12 stations distributed through the land. Players will find stations in a number of unexpected places around the Island, including within attractions, play areas, retail and F&B establishments, and throughout area development. Each station hosts an activity that is themed to a specific Zodiac animal and challenges players with an activity that relates to the characteristic embodied by that animal. As they work their way through a series of adventures that explore these universal characteristics, they may discover their own noble god-like attributes concealed within themselves. The conclusion of the game brings a reward, which could be a souvenir prize, mini-show, or magical token that may be exchanged for special powers in the Tavern.
Game play is open-ended and activities do not have to be done in sequence, so players may use whatever strategy they choose, on their own timetable. As guests play, they can scour and search every corner of the Myth zone, or leisurely wander until they stumble into the next game element. Floor engravings or other markers may indicate stops along the game trail.
The game may allow guests use interactive technology such as an app on their own smartphone or an interactive game element like a magic ring or a goblin club. Each location can have different types of interactivity, technology, and clues to solve.
· An augmented reality app on a smartphone/tablet displays an animated mythological animal as an overlay to the action in a live theatrical show.
· Guests may use a technologically-enhanced prop like a dokkaebi club to activate or engage with interactive stations. For example, the club may cause an interactive element in a station to light up, play music, or provide a spoken clue.
· Simpler props such as a map with a photo-reactive picture or text can be placed over a light-up element hidden in a tree stump, for example, to reveal a secret message.
· Interactive effects may be triggered by the mere presence or proximity of players who have been directed to stand in a specific place.
The game stands on its own, but will include parallel elements such as artifacts or magic that tie in to character or story elements in the GodStorm VR experience, cross-promoting each attraction while providing deeper engagement to guests who opt to do both.
Guests who are not playing the game will have their own park experience enhanced simply by watching players invoke magical effects. Like Universal’s Harry Potter Wands, participating guests activate the entire land in unexpected ways and become part of the overall story and show.
Like GodStorm players, guests on a Zodiac Quest can return to the Tavern and share stories, compare their adventures with other players, and show off their mythical powers.
ENVIRONMENTAL AND PORTABLE SHOWS: CONCEPTS FOR HISTORY LAND,
K-CULTURE VILLAGE. SEOUL, S. KOREA, THE HETTEMA GROUP
Celadon Pottery Show
A cart decorated to look like an 11th Century merchant’s mobile kiosk features replica celadon pottery pieces, including tea pots, cups, bowls, plates, and more, all on display as if for sale. This is the backdrop (and prop storage space) for an exciting juggling and balancing show using the theme of the traditional Korean ceramic pottery with its distinctive blue-green glaze. Perfectly painted juggling clubs look just like tall, slender celadon vases. Recorded music comes from the cart, but live drums painted like pottery are beaten to the rhythm of the music as part of the show. Three “peddlers,” two men and a woman, pretend to be selling their wares before beginning a performance of choreographed stacking, balancing, plate-spinning and more, entwined with folk dances set to folk music of the period. The show is about 10 to 12 minutes in length.
At night, rows of tiny lamps light up the top and sides of the cart, and the stackable celadon pieces glow. Taking fire from a kiln built into the cart, the juggling of flaming torches is added to the mix, lighting up the performance.
The Shaman Show
A tribute to the centuries-old shamanistic traditions, a female shaman, dressed in hanbok, performs a gut to help a man seeking help with the problems he has in his life. The performance is based on real shaman practices, including impassioned incantations, energetic dances with fans, swords and long pieces of colorful fabric, as well as speaking to “spirits.” Moments after lighting incense pots, small pyrotechnics pop, and other signs appear indicating the presence of spirits. The audience gets to listen in as the shaman sings the meaning of the signs to her patron, as other magical effects take place to convince him to heed her advice.
A Gift from Sejong the Great
A humorous imagining of the introduction to Hangul to the people of the Joseon period. A teacher has a cart carrying oversized printing blocks containing each consonant and vowel, so he can instruct others in the use of the new written language, a gift from none other than King Sejong and his group of advisors. The teacher encounters a young man and a young woman and offers to teach them, assuring them that a clever person can master Hangul in just a few hours, and even a dim-witted person can learn it in 10 days. The pair is skeptical, being “only” a farmer, and “just” a woman. (When the woman asks if she can learn it, the teacher answers, “In just hours.” When the farmer asks the same question, he answers, “In ten days.” The show is filled with slapstick comedy and ends with a fun alphabet song.
GWANGGAETO VICTORIOUS SHOOTING RIDE, Scene Breakdown
THE HETTEMA GROUP
Q1.1. Statue of King Gwanggaeto mounted on horseback with armor and barding
Q1.2. A hwatcha loaded with arrows
("A" side of Queue)
Q2.1. Map with flags showing the march of King Asin’s army from Baekje to the border of Goguryeo
Q2.2. A recruiting poster for would-be Kaema warriors for the King
Q2.3. Banners with the symbols of Goguryeo (three-legged crow) and of Baekje (dark, enemy)
("B" side of Queue)
Q2. 4. A mural hints at the ride experience: target practice, shooting arrows from horseback, hunting, battle
Q2.5. Replica cross-bows similar to the ride weapon (in themed display)
00.1. Guests load into Vehicles equipped with crossbows
1.1 The Lieutenant sends guests to their training.
1.2. Pots and jugs (metal and porcelain) — they pop, ting, smash and snuff as they’re hit.
1.3. Lanterns hung from tree branches are hit, snuffing out the glowing flames with a spark.
1.4. Sound FX indicate hits, misses, ricochets
1.5. Old battle helmets, old shields — they clank and clang when hit.
SHOW ACTION: Bumps and Tilts.
1.6. Broken carts with wheels — the wheels spin when hit several times.
2.1. Rabbits targets (on tracks with targets on tails) hop between bushes on an endless loop.
2.2. Colorful birds fly between trees. When hit, we see a burst of feathers from their butts.
2.3. Squirrels (on tracks with targets on bodies) slide up and down the sides of a tree. When hit, their tails go up.
2.4. Deer, prancing between small hills in the distance
3.1. Birds fly up from the trees and wing away
3.2. Wild boars run through the trees (one runs alongside the cart. Crossbow fire scares it away.)
3.3. Bears, which turn out to be soldiers in animal skins (“Ouch!”)
3.4. Cavalry moving behind trees — we hear hooves pounding, and armor clanking.
3.5. Soldier cut-outs fall backward when shot; the last soldier is ‘real’ and says ‘ouch’ when hit.
3.6 Approaching Soldiers on horseback are heard, and seen in silhouette
3.7 Silhouette FX, Thundering horse hooves SFX
3.8 The Lieut. Voice calls from a distance: “Beware – the enemy is close!”
AMBUSH, PART I
4.1. Lieutenant warns that an enemy attack has begun, and we have to fight our way out.
4.2. An enemy banner is stuck in the ground
4.3. Soldiers' equipment is lying on the ground near an abandoned campfire.
4.4. Drums are heard… then seen near the makeshift enemy camp.
4.5. An arrow disrupts a carefully stacked pile of cannon balls
4.6. In the distance, an enemy fort is full of armed soldiers.
4.7. An arrow seems to pierce a water skin, and water flows out of it from both sides.
AMBUSH, PART II
5.1. A woosh of air passes and an arrow loudly penetrates a tree.
5.2. A scout quickly warns that there are enemy soldiers nearby. "Take cover!"
5.3. Enemy soldiers appear at a distance, near a fort they have taken over.
5.4. Soldiers appear from behind trees and boulders, shooting arrows and shouting
5.5. One soldier falls out of sight, landing in a water trough with a splash.
5.6. Splash sound FX, + real water jet
5.7. Arrows with flaming tips fly by, overhead
6.1. A hungry enemy soldier chases a boar.
6.2. A squirrel pokes his head out of an upside-down helmet on the ground.
6.3. A soldier sitting on the payload arm gets launched into a fort wall, gets stuck halfway through.
6.4. Animation of trebuchet arm flying, soldier crashing into wall.
7.1. Cavalry soldiers on horseback give chase
7.2. An arrow tears a hole in a water bucket suspended by a rope, dousing a soldier below.
7.3. An arrow hits a shield leaning on a fallen tree. The shield creates a domino effect, crashing into a long row of shields like crashing cymbals.
7.4. Around the corner, we have a closer view of the stuck soldier, his legs dangling and wiggling in mid-air.
NETS & TRAPS
8.1. An arrow rips a soldier’s belt and his pants (or armor?) fall down to his ankles
8.2. Traps laid by Gwanggaeto's forces capture enemies in a net.
8.3. A portion of a large fort is visible between the dense trees.
9.1. An overturned vehicle like ours blocks the path.
9.2. The overturned vehicle goes up in flames, forcing us "off the road," and into the enemy fort!
9.3. Enemy soldiers, hiding behind shields, turrets, and other barriers, take aim at us!
INSIDE THE FORT, PART I
10.1. Each enemy soldier atop the fort is a target.
10.2. Shuttered windows open, and archers fire arrows at us.
10.3. Every shutter is a target, too.
10.4. Soldiers on the roof fall behind battlements when hit.
INSIDE THE FORT, PART II
11.1. The enemy lights a 100-arrow hwacha aimed at us!
11.2. One lucky shot spins the hwacha back towards the enemy soldiers perched on the fort.
11.3. A volley of explosive arrows hits their perch, which goes up in smoke.
11.4. Explosion SFX, Smoke FX, Spark FX
11.5. Enemy leader pinned to wall by arrows through his armor. A still-burning arrow in his askew helmet threatens further harm. He futilely blows at the flame.
THANK YOU & FAREWELL
12.1. King Gwanggaeto, in full regalia thanks guests for helping to save Goguryeo.
12.2 A stylized digital Score Board shows guests how well they shot.
12.3. Chariot comes to a stop.
00.2. Guests exit the chariot vehicle (Unload)
00.2.1. Graphic displays highlight Gwanggaeto's accomplishments
00.2.2. Animated map of Gogoryeo before and after Gwanggaeto
THE ROYAL PROCLAMATIONS
EXCALIBUR CASINO & RESORT, LAS VEGAS
LIGHTS UP as the MAIN CURTAIN opens.
A ROYAL TRUMPET FANFARE plays.
My lords and ladies, the Castle of Excalibur now proudly presents their Royal majesties, King Arthur and Queen Guinevere.
KING ARTHUR and QUEEN GUINEVERE enter from SR, holding hands in royal fashion as light CHAMBER MUSIC plays.
They walk DCS to face the audience. A small but ornate wooden table is between them. The table holds 3 SCROLLS, a FRAMED PAINTING face-down, and a decorated PORCELAIN BOX. Arthur bows and Guinevere curtsies to the audience as the music slowly begins to FADE DOWN.
Welcome, my lords and ladies—
The music suddenly CRESCENDOS. Arthur looks offstage, miming for the sound technician to cut the music. It takes a few seconds before the technician understands. Finally, the music stops.
The trumpet fanfare music starts over from the beginning. Arthur quickly withdraws his sword, Excalibur, from its scabbard and makes a beeline for the wings, USR. Guinevere watches after him, alarmed. The music warbles to silence like an LP record manually slowed to a stop. Arthur returns as if nothing has happened.
Welcome, my lords and ladies, and thank you all for joining us.
Arthur picks up the largest scroll.
We wish to make the day’s Royal Proclamations at this time.
Arthur unfurls the scroll. It unrolls all the way to the floor and rolls out off the front of the stage.
There are… 134 of them!
Oh, dear. That will take forever. That’s far too many! Let’s just do… the Top Ten Proclamations. Yes, that will do, the top ten.
Guinevere picks up the 2 remaining scrolls from the table and hands one to Arthur. They each unroll their scrolls by the knobbed dowels at the top and bottom.
Very well, let us begin. Hear ye, hear ye. Let the following be known to all within our realm:
#10. In order to prevent rust, all knights must remove their armor before going swimming in the pool.
#9. Congratulations to our Engineering Department, who have successfully made the Round Table 17% rounder! Good work!
MUSIC CUE: NEWSDESK, SLOWLY FADES UNDER…
This just in… We have just received the results of the Golden Lance Jousting Finals. This year’s winner is… our very own Sir Percival, the third bravest knight in all the land.
We shall now show a medieval video clip.
Arthur picks up the framed painting that has been face-down on the table. He shows it to the audience. The painting depicts Sir Percival on a horse, with a lance extended for jousting. Arthur “trots” the painting across the front of the stage as if to demonstrate Percival’s riding prowess.
#8. All visitors to the dungeon must have prior authorization and are subject to search. Guards have orders to clap you in irons first and ask questions ten years later.
We will now turn live, via satellite, to lord Lumpkin, reporting from outside the front of the castle. Lord Lumpkin?
LORD LUMPKIN (V.O.)
Thank you, your majesty. The lifeguard at the castle moat has just been eaten. So once again, swimming there will be at your own risk. One more thing. Right now, there’s a 20-minute wading list.
Get it? Wading!
Arthur and Guinevere both shake their heads in embarrassment.
Thank you very much for that update, Lord Lumpkin.
How can we have a live report, via satellite, from Lord Lumpkin, but my “video clip” was just a painting?
Oh, Arthur! Don’t be so sensitive!
#7. Whoever switched the signs that say “Rest Room” and “Royal Throne Room,” please switch them back—immediately!
#6. A note to all royal attendants and servants: Before entering the royal chambers of the king and queen, please knock! Thank you.
We’ll be right back, after this word from our sponsor.
Today’s Royal Proclamations are brought to you by… The Thieves and Grave-Robbers Guild!
Wait! Stop! We rejected their sponsorship.
ANNOUNCER #2 (V.O.)
Oh, right. Sorry. Today, the Royal Proclamations are brought to you by… The Court Jester’s Stage. See Magic, Juggling, and Puppet Shows. Hear Music, Stories, and more! Shows begin at 11:00 AM, daily. Go to the Castle’s 2nd Floor, the Attraction Level, for schedule and show times. The Court Jester’s Stage: worth every penny — because it’s free!
During Announcer #2’s message, the King and Queen remain CS and go through an elaborate but very quick break for tea. From within the porcelain box on the table, they unveil their TEA SET. The king pours tea for both of them. They clink their tea CUPS, sip the hot tea, and return the POT and cups to their box. The lid of the box closes on exactly the last beat of music accompanying the phrase “because it’s free!
They didn’t go anywhere, Arthur.
Well anyway, #5. This is for Sir Trystan, who has been parading around rather pompously all week with his shiny, new helmet. Sir Trystan, Anheuser-Busch called. They want their keg back!
Arthur laughs, really cracking himself up over this.
Oh, I made a funny!
Guinevere is amused at first, but for her, this gets old quickly.
It-it looks like a keg!
Arthur continues to laugh hysterically. Tears stream. He dabs his eyes with a silk handkerchief, quickly composing himself.
#4. From this day forward, at all public beheadings, out of respect, no chewing gum is allowed. However, popcorn and peanuts will still be sold.
Before we do the Top 3, It is time for today’s editorial. Anonymous, writes, “The Royals,” – Oh, that’s us! – The Royals are tyrannical, elitist dictators. Arthur and Guinevere should be overthrown and replaced through a democratic election??”
It should be pointed out that views expressed in the editorial do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the king, the queen, or our well-fortified armies.
(Smiling, but meaning business
as he glances offstage)
Someone please find out who wrote that, will you?
#3. A reminder to all employees working in the royal jails: Chains, shackles, and whips are for official use, only.
This is Las Vegas, my darling.
You’re right, my liege. What happens in the dungeon--
KING ARTHUR and QUEEN GUINEVERE
Stays in the dungeon.
Speaking of which, #2. A note to all poker and video poker players: the phrase “hitting a royal” is just an expression. Any actual assault on the king or queen would result in immediate execution.
And finally, our #1 royal decree of the day: a Public Service Announcement. Please help control the fire-breathing animal population. Have your dragon spayed or neutered. Thank you.
Bright medieval MUSIC plays.
This concludes the reading of today’s Top Ten Royal Proclamations.
Thank you all for joining us, and please enjoy your visit here in the kingdom of Excalibur.
KING ARTHUR and QUEEN GUINEVERE
Fare thee well.
The music swells and the LIGHTS FADE as the king and queen once again join hands, and exit SR.
The music FADES.
THE G'NIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LAME-O (PROPOSAL)
ALWAYS ENTERTAINING, LAS VEGAS
The G'Night Show with Jay Lame-o is a talk show parody written and directed by Markus Kublin,
Initially produced by Always Entertaining at the Mandalay Bay Convention Center, for corporate
entertainment client SAP Canada.
Client SAP Canada needs a 30 minute corporate entertainment production for their national
sales team of 500+ account reps, team leader and executives.
They have requested that Always Entertaining incorporate certain sales messages into the show
to represent the unique needs of SAP'S different categories of customers:
· Large Corporations
· Medium-sized companies
· Government agencies & departments
· Small businesses & start-ups
The G’Night Show with Jay Lame-o is a parody of the #1-rated late-night television program The
Tonight Show with Jay Leno. This is a 30-minute, scripted comedy talk show with celebrity
guests (played by impersonators) who represent the 4 different client categories and express
their unique needs through their interview segments with the host (also a celebrity
Utilizing this format, “Jay” can ask his guests interview questions that pertain to the
customer type that they each represent. This allows a much more organic handling of the
marketing messages the client wishes to emphasize as part of the entertainment, compared to sketches or improv scenes that might try to force these messages into a scene. The
conversation will flow no less naturally that when real talk show hosts asks their guests about
the movie, TV show, or album they are there to promote.
Additionally, the talk show format creates no invisible “fourth wall.” This intentionally allows
the host and guests to connect with the audience by talking directly to them at appropriate
times within the show, without breaking the reality of the performance.
To keep the performance as entertaining as it is informative, we wrap the interviews with
comedy and music, and the music performance includes live piano playing and interaction with the audience, who will be able to sing along from their seats for the finale.
Host: JAY LAME-O, a genial talk show host who functions as both a fun emcee and as a curious representative of SAP Canada who is interested in interviewing each type of Sales client, to learn more about the most effective ways to approach and interact with them.
1st Guest: ELTON JOHN, a major brand and household name
2nd Guest: STEVE ERWIN, an established, middle range brand
3rd Guest: BELINDA STRONACH, a nationally known business woman and political hopeful
4th Guest: PHILLIP FRANKEL, a young comedian just gaining national exposure and growing into recognition.
SHOW: (30 Minute breakdown)
Opening: (0:00 – 1:00)
Theme music, host introduction and entrance.
Scene 1 (1:00 – 5:00)
The show opens with an original comedy monologue based on fresh topics from the
day's news. This also functions as way to acquaint the audience with an already familiar
format, so they will have an idea of what to expect. It will also warm them up to laugh.
Scene 2 (5:30 – 9:30)
Interview segment. Jay introduces ELTON JOHN, an A-list star who represents our
biggest clients: major, international brands.
Scene 3 (10:00 – 15:00)
Sketch segment. Jay introduces STEVE ERWIN, a successful and identifiable mid-range
star who is looking to jump to the next level without losing his brand identity. Steve
performs a stunt in which he feeds his new baby while holding on to a large crocodile at
the same time.
Scene 4 (15:30 – 19:30)
Interview segment. Jay introduces Canadian BELINDA STRONACH, a possible Prime
Minister candidate, who tells Jay about how government contracts differ from private
Scene 5 (20:00 – 25:00)
Jay introduces PHILLIP FRANKEL, a young comedian making his “first appearance” on
the national stage. Phillip performs stand-up, then goes to the couch to tell more about
being a start-up who is having early success and looking emerge in the marketplace.
Scene 6 (25:30 – 29:30)
Jay welcomes Elton back to the stage for the final act: a musical performance of his
classic hit “Crocodile Rock,” culminating in an audience-participation sing-along.
Ending: (29:30 – 30:00)
Jay wraps up the show, thanking all his guests and the audience.
ACTORS: 4 Performers – the Host; Guest 1; Guest 2 & 4 (portrayed by same actor); Guest 3
CREW: Writer; Director; 1 Technician for lights & soundboard
TECH: Stage lighting; Lav mics for each cast member; 1 desk mic; Recorded music tracks
for opening theme, closing theme, and guest entrances; Sound system for Elton’s
SET: Host desk; couch; plants; electric piano
PROPS: Extra-large stuffed crocodile; “baby” doll
CAST NEEDS: Appropriate costumes, wigs and makeup
Week One: Write and edit script. Get script notes from client through producer.
Audition actors and cast all roles. (Because celebrity impersonations are a key
part of this show concept, actors’ ability to convincingly play a certain known
star is an important casting consideration. However, the show is a parody, so a
comedic characterization is more important than an exact look-alike or soundalike.
Think Saturday night Live.)
Week Two: Rehearse with actors.
Purchase, rent, or build all costumes, props, and set pieces.
Arrange costume fittings and adjustments.
Engineer lighting, sound, electrical tech.
Finalize any script revisions.
Week Three: Tech rehearsal.
Other Clients: While the host element should be considered “evergreen,” the actual host and
guests can rotate, or change entirely, depending on the type of corporate
client/audience and their specific messaging or other needs.
Future Shows: The opening will always need to be updated with a new, fresh monologue based
on the news and current events.
Guests should always be relevant, living real-life people who are prominent
figures in pop culture and/or the news. (Current movie & TV actors, singers,
musicians, reality stars, sports figures, politicians, etc.)
The length of the show can be expanded to 60 minutes, with additional sketches,
“desk pieces,” and more or longer guest interviews/interactions.
STAR TREK: THE EXPERIENCE, LAS VEGAS
Quark’s Bar along the Promenade of the Star Trek: The Experience Space Station.
KURMAS, a Klingon warrior and patron of the traditional operas of his
Home-world, enters, singing at a robust volume, seemingly unaware of
the human guests that fill the bar area. BLEEG, a shrewd Ferengi with business interests in the bar, observes, clearly unimpressed.
Kurmas sings (in Klingon).
HoH Ha’DIbaH naS! HoH veqlargh naS! (Translation:
Kill the vicious animal. Kill the vicious
Bleeg makes his way through the crowd of humans.
What is that awful noise? My lobes are aching
That is Klingon opera, Ferengi. Do you not
appreciate the beauty of its sound?
Well, I appreciate the fact that you stopped
Fool! You have no taste in music.
(Addressing the crowd)
Do not worry humans. I will not allow this
Ferengi to dissuade me. I have decided that you
will have the honor of hearing an entire Klingon
An entire Klingon opera? But, Cmdr, Kurmas,
aren’t they kind of... long?
It depends. The shorter ones are only 14 or 15
hours. Fortunately for these humans this is
“HIvqa veqlargh, “ “The Feklhr Strikes Again,”
one of the best - because it is one of the
Yes! And I shall sing the entire score. You are
Lucky? Did you tell them they have to stand
through the entire performance?
Yes, you must stand, and for this particular
opera, to show your interest, tradition requires
that there be no blinking.
Guess what? No potty breaks, either.
Hold it, Bleeg.
Yes, that’s what they will be doing.
Now humans, before I begin, I will explain the
opera’s story, so you will understand it. The
plot involves much battle, blood, and death.
Oh good -- a comedy.
Quiet, Ferengi. Not another word!
Kurmas broadly gestures everything he explains.
Now listen closely, humans. Long ago, the Feklhr,
demon-creature of Klingon legend, transformed
himself into the guise of a merchant. He then
pushed a cart filled with weapons through a
village, selling them at very low prices.
Oh, it’s a horror story!
Kurmas shoots him a threatening look. Bleeg shudders and backs away.
The weapons were cursed, causing the villagers to
attack one another, stabbing each other in the
Bleeg mimics every movement Kurmas acts out. Kurmas turns to see him
Just stretching. Please go on.
They stab each other in the back. Many die. The
survivors sing sadly of the dishonor this brings to their village. But their song awakens their warrior spirit so they can see the Feklhr for who he really is. They unite to battle him. Then, um, more die.
Kurmas turns and almost catches Bleeg imitating him.
Sorry, muscle cramp. I’m not used to all this
The villagers chase the Feklhr into the sky,
where they kill him. His blood fills the clouds,
and serves as a reminder to all Klingons against
fighting without honor, every time they look upon
our home-world’s crimson sky.
He raises his arms in a victorious pose, and turns his head, finally
seeing Bleeg mocking him behind his back.
I was just, um, this time I was only... Uh-oh.
Bleeg tries to put a few humans between himself and Kurmas.
It seems the Feklhr is not the only creature
without honor. Humans, I must teach this Ferengi
some respect. You will have to wait to hear the
opera. Just remember it is all Bleeg’s fault.
Hu-maans, you can thank me later. If I survive,
drinks are on you!
Bleeg runs for it, and Kurmas chases after him.